I would so FIRE you

In the checkout line I noticed the latest cover of Cosmo.

If I were Jessica Alba I would so fire my PR person. Who wants to be on the cover with the caption "Untamed Va-ja-jays" printed in bold across your va-ja-jay.

I laughed so hard.

This Guy

So we're all at the park playing and I climb up the play structure with both boys and am going to go down the steep slide with them:

Me "Am I going to rocket off the end of this thing or will the fat on my ass be enough to slow me down?"

Husband "Oh no you'll be plenty good!"

The big guy dressed himself!

And then wondered why I laughed and took photos. I got the classic palms up "what?"

That Guy

I miracle of miracles got two children to nap at the same time and the neighbours construction guy decided this would be a good time to hammer and saw in the yard. I'm gonna punch that guy right in the junk and shout "YOU KNOW WHY!!!"

Halloween Costumes

Ummm clearly Satan and Satan's brother, but what do they wear?

Trouble in the middle

Satan's brother has decided that stopping to nurse and have a cuddle with mama is taking too much out of his evil plotting during the day so he refuses to nurse during business hours. Oh well I'll try to continue being supportive. Hello Pump, I most certainly did not miss you.

In other news my breasts have become deformed and my nipples now point in random erratic directions, much like someone with a crazy eye. They're just roaming about. I have to physically centre them before venturing into public. How long have I been this lady? How embarrassing.

Suspicions

Both of the mini peeps look increasingly like the big guy. I am almost convinced I had nothing to do with the mix. Am not quite sure how he pulled it off but am deffinately suspicious! (squinty eyes here)