Is it a bad night?

Is it a bad night because it's a bad night. Is it a bad night because things have changed? Is it a bad night because I am making it so or because it is so?
Things have been going really well, this has been our best carnie on tour trip yet, but tonight I was done, ready for a break. Did this cause the chaos or did the chaos cause this. Bedtime was a disaster on everybody's part. Was it me, was it them? Who knows.
Orange 1 and piggy share a room, Orange 1 asked for Piggy to share the room and loves it. I can't believe how much he loves Piggy. We have pictures of "the Daddy"taped to the wall and it helps. Every night before bed we say "night night daddy" and we give the picture a kiss and look at it for a while. In the day when the daddy calls we talk on speakerphone and tonight we had speakerphone chat with the daddy during bedtime. Orange 1 pretty much refuses to talk to him but he listens intently. During bedtime was a mistake. I hung up and the disaster that followed was so emotional. I found another picture of the daddy in a frame and asked if he wanted to hold it, he did. He fell asleep staring lovingly at the daddy picture and it broke my heart. I can fix a lot of things, I can be a lot of things, but I can't be the daddy, no matter how hard I try. There were some tears.